How do I work in the therapy session?

I base my approach on what works best for each individual or couple or family that I see. Often I am pretty active, and encourage dialogue and feedback. I may offer suggestions, even advice, and may come up with changes that you might try between sessions. A lot of people have told me that a previous therapist never said much or offered any feedback, and I don’t think that’s very helpful. I’m happy to explain my rationale, or teach you some of what I know about a particular issue if that would be helpful.

I also know that some people prefer to be more quiet and reflective, or have more difficulty trusting other people and prefer to take their time discussing very private things. The pace of conversation in the therapy is based on what you need and what works for you: that’s the most important thing to know. It takes time for us to get to know each other, and I’m very respectful of people’s different needs and styles.

What kind of problems have I treated?

• Persistent unhappiness with oneself, self-criticism or self- hatred;
• Unhappiness with family or marital relationships, work, or friendships;
• Feelings of shame, feeling like an outsider, difficulty connecting with other people, loneliness;
• Long-term family problems that haven’t resolved, with parents, sibling, in-laws, etc.;
• Long-term effects of emotional, physical or sexual trauma in earlier years;
• Marital or partner problems: loss of the connection, incompatibility in values and life style, communication problems and difficulty working through conflicts;
• Feelings of being “stuck” in adapting to loss and change;
• Self-sabotage, feelings of unworthiness, survivor guilt.

Do I just see individuals or also couples?

I see both. I have a great deal of training and experience with couples and families and I have an eclectic, active approach: I ask questions, give feedback and suggest “homework.” In the safety and privacy of my office I help couples and families bring up issues that are too volatile to talk about at home and we work on ways to handle conflict in a more productive way. I work both with early history and with current communication patterns and believe the essence of couples’ work is to restore the deep connection that underlies most long-term relationships.

I stay up to date on current research and literature about couples and families, child rearing, divorce, blended families and other issues. I’m happy to share that new information with clients who generally find it helpful and supportive.

I also work with adult families. Sometimes adults want to come in with their parent or parents, whether to work on long-standing issues or to discuss issues about parental aging, changes in care-giving, and so forth. I also work with adult siblings who want to improve their relationship.

I also have a special interest in working with people/ couples /families where there has been mental or physical illness or disability. Many families have found it useful to come in together when chronic or acute illness has been part of family life.